The hidden cause of breastfeeding problems.

ISIS - the Egyptian Goddess of Motherhood, Magic, and Fertility

Q: Why do the vast majority of mothers in the West formula feed their babies?

We all know that the vast majority of mums CAN breastfeed.  There is nothing wrong with their 'equipment', and yet they struggle and give up.  Some never even start.  You hear so many different reasons why people didn't breastfeed beyond a few days or weeks.  Often the same ones crop up.

• 'I didn't have enough milk' or 'my baby wanted to feed all the time'.
• Pain - nipples/ blocked ducts/ mastitis etc.
• The mother was told (by a doctor or other professional) to give a 'top up' and found the 'baby preferred/ was more settled on' formula.
• Unable to breastfeed because of medication (actually very rare..).
• Baby refused to breastfeed/ preferred bottle feeding 
• Baby was 'allergic' to mum's milk (true breast milk allergy is also very rare although it is possible for a baby to react to something in mum's diet)

Often mothers who breast feed 'successfully' scoff at these reasons.  Sometimes they say: 'If a mother is determined enough they will breastfed'.  I'm afraid I don't agree.

That comment makes the assumption that all mothers should know where to go to go to seek out the support which would make breastfeeding possible.  It assumes that they know that doctors and health visitors aren't breastfeeding experts.  It assumes they can withstand pressure from their families and friends to give formula.  It assumes they're confident enough to breastfeed in public.  It assumes that everyone should be 'proactive' about finding breastfeeding support.  It assumes that new mums are not hormonal or suffering from PPD/ PTSD and are able to reach out.  It assumes a lot.  

YOU know that good support and information is out there.  But what if you've never even heard of La Leche League or the NCT?  YOU might have heard of them, but that's just you....  What if a person didn't get good breastfeeding support in hospital or adequate information during their antenatal classes?  What if no-one discussed their feeding options with them properly, allowing them to make a fully informed choice?  What if they went to their doctor for help with a breastfeeding problem and were given poor advice?  It happens a thousand times a day.

We know that only a tiny percentage of women physically cannot produce enough milk for their babies.  However, if someone has been advised to give a top up/ doesn't know to put their baby to the breast often enough in the first days and weeks of life/ doesn't know how to ensure their baby is milking the breast properly and painlessly (etc etc) then that really CAN develop into a genuine supply problem.  If they don't know how to correct the problem, then these mothers will find their milk supplies compromised permanently.  They won't make enough milk, and they will develop a genuine supply problem.  When a doctor tells you to do something, you do it - right?


That's a genuine breastfeeding problem.

It won't do any good for breastfeeding advocates to say 'you could have fed your baby if..' because that just sounds like criticism (even though your motives for saying so may be very different).  The truth of it is that our environment is littered with genuine reasons for breastfeeding failure.  When breastfeeding myths are perpetuated in the press and on television, in living rooms, buses, cafés and (some!) doctor's surgeries it's no wonder that so many people believe them to be true.

So I'd like to propose that a sizeable number of women who do not breastfeed their babies are actually suffering from a genuine breastfeeding problem.  I'm going to call it ISIS.

Insufficient Support and Information Syndrome.

'syn·drome  n. 

1. A group of symptoms that collectively indicate or characterize a disease, psychological disorder, or other abnormal condition.

2.  a. A complex of symptoms indicating the existence of an undesirable condition or quality.   b. A distinctive or characteristic pattern of behavior' (from thefreedictionary.com)

What are the symptoms of ISIS?

Well, everyone is different but the symptoms may include: 

• Inability to breastfeed (usually leading to formula feeding).
• A genuine belief that they cannot breastfeed.
• Emotional issues (eg. grief at the loss of a breastfeeding relationship/ sadness/ feelings of failure/ anger/ resentment/ guilt)
• Increased medical problems (in mother and baby) as a result of breastfeeding cessation. 

If you look at breastfeeding statistics you will see that ISIS is actually a very widespread problem.

'only 35 per cent of UK babies are being exclusively breastfed at one week, 21 per cent at six weeks, 7 per cent at four months and 3 per cent at five months' (from the UK Baby Friendly Initiative website) 

The long term effects of this syndrome are genuinely massive.  Not breastfeeding is costly both to the health of the mother and child, and leads to greater financial costs in terms of the health care those individuals may need.  These are costs our whole society bears, and yet we seem unable or unwilling to recognise or address the problem.

You'd think given how many people are affected by ISIS there would be teams of intelligentsia meeting regularly in order to address the problem - but strangely enough there aren't.  

Why not?  Well - it might be because there simply isn't the demand.  Our society genuinely doesn't realise that it's ill.  It might also be because it's an issue that only directly affects women and children - and those women are usually on maternity leave when the situation is at it's most critical.  ISIS generally doesn't affect a woman's ability to earn or pay tax because so few people currently go on to breastfeed and work (although you can!).  It might also be because of the amount of revenue the governments get from the formula companies.  The formula milk industry is worth £119 million in the UK per annum.  

'At the lowest estimate of £5m the manufacturers spend £6.25 for each baby born in the UK. The government spends 9p-16p per baby on breastfeeding promotion'   ~ from Baby Milk Action.

Who are the decision-makers in our society?  How many of them breastfeed or have an awareness of breastfeeding issues?  How often do you see this?

Licia Ronzulli, Italian MEP with her newborn

It is a (largely) invisible illness.  I made the name up myself.

How can ISIS be treated?

The answer is both simple and hugely complex.  We need to address the causes of ISIS.  It is caused by a lack of support and good information.  It is exacerbated by misinformation and societal pressures.

• We need to train our medical professionals properly.  Breastfeeding should be CORE to their training given how important it is to our health - at the moment they don't need to have any.  
• We need to ensure that new mothers are given accurate information about breastfeeding and the risks associated with formula feeding before they have their babies and good support afterwards.  Without it they cannot make informed choices.  
• We need to ensure that the media and mainstream public events targeting parents do not misinform mothers about breastfeeding.  
• We need to ensure that formula companies adhere to the law when it comes to advertising and targeting mums-to-be.  
• We need to fully implement the WHO code in law.
• We need to work to improve legislation to protect breastfeeding mothers (where I live in Northern Ireland our legislation is pitiful - the Equality Act 2010 doesn't apply here). 
• We need to ensure that properly trained breastfeeding support is widely available on the NHS.
• We need to re-normalise breastfeeding, both online and in our local communities.  Breastfeeding mums should feel supported to breastfeed - wherever they are, they should not be made to feel they are doing something grubby or obscene.

ISIS is real.  The symptoms are real.  The damage it does is real.  Only the name is made up.    

Breastfeeding older children, nursing manners, mother-led weaning (and a bit about ditching the dummy).

Quite often a mum will post on our Facebook group about her concerns regards feeding her older baby/ child.  The poster will likely be a mother who has breastfed beyond a year - often for a good deal longer than that.  These posters are mothers who have sustained breastfeeding despite living in a culture which is incredibly unsupportive of it, particularly when your baby is more than a few months old.  These mums have 'bucked' a trend.  They're in a tiny minority.  They are well-informed and caring.  

Sometimes the mother will have found out that she's pregnant and has mixed feelings about breastfeeding through pregnancy.  She may say she's feeling increasingly antsy and isn't enjoying breastfeeding anymore.  Perhaps she wants to conceive another child and hasn't been successful whilst breastfeeding.  Perhaps she has had another child and is now finding tandem feeding a struggle.  So she posts on the group, and what happens?  Amongst a host of caring comments there will likely be one or two which will (essentially) accuse her of being selfish.  Of not putting her child's needs first.

'Mother-Led' weaning is an emotive topic!

So what *is* weaning?  Well, it sort of depends on where you live.  In the UK/ Ireland we generally use the term weaning to describe the introduction of solid foods to babies.  In the US the term is usually taken to mean the process of bringing breastfeeding to an end.  If you think about it though, those two definitions have a lot in common.  As soon as you start to give your child anything other than your breast milk in their diet you begin to enable them to sustain themselves without you.  You begin the process of weaning.

Weaning (introducing solids) is a bit like riding a bike.  Whilst you're exclusively breastfeeding, you're the one riding the bike - with your little passenger on board.  Once you start introducing solids your little child begins to learn to ride their own bike, using breastfeeding as 'stabilisers'.  How long their stabilisers stay on for will vary from child to child - but even at the tender age of a few months old - the process of weaning has begun with the introduction of solids.  The child is getting some calories from an additional source to the breast.  One way or another, every breastfeeding mum who has given their child solids has begun to 'wean' their baby off the breast - even though completing the process may take years.  It's a big deal (and one I'm thinking about this a lot lately as my 5.5 month old is about ready for solids now and it's almost time to begin the process).

Despite what the Daily Mail would like us to think, all children - left to their own devices - will stop breastfeeding eventually.  The timescale will vary for each individual child, but weaning is a natural process that really does take place without adult intervention.  Solid food gradually replaces breast milk in their diets, their immune system matures so it no longer requires the additional support it receives from breast milk, and the comfort of the breast ceases to be as important to them as it once was.  They take their stabilisers off and ride their own bikes.  In an ideal world and an ideal senario our children would breastfeed to their hearts content as often and for as long as they want.

But is that really an ideal senario ?

(sharp intake of breath)

For some people, yes it really is.  Their children grow up and continue to be breastfed on 'demand' (on cue), the child eventually self-weans, and everyone's happy.  

But if everyone is *not* happy?

The other day I was in the supermarket and my 3 year old (who has been 'nearly weaned' for about 2 years now!) announced 'I want boobie'.  

SAY WHAT?!?!?!?!? 

This is the child who stopped breastfeeding completely for 12 weeks when I was pregnant with her sister, who fought the breast for the first seven months of her life.  This is the child who proudly announced to me the previous day that she was giving her dolly a bottle because 'all babies get bottles' :-O 

This is the child who occasionally asks for a feed in the mornings and then complains that I don't have any milk  (er - so what's your ebf sister living on then I ask? Thin air?!?!).  

Anyways, in the middle of aisle 12 she announces she 'wants boobie'.  And (shockingly) I say 'No - 'I'll buy you a cupcake when we've finished the shopping'.  

Now there are probably some women out there who are completely ok with breastfeeding their 3 year olds in the middle of the supermarket (and more power to you girls) but myth-buster though I am, I'm afraid it's just not going to happen...  Fortunately my daughter was content to wait for her cupcake (cake is her weak spot).  Phew.  


Would I have fed her in the supermarket if she'd not been?  No.  I would have been really uncomfortable to do that.  In an ideal world it would be no big deal - but this is not an ideal world.  Breastfeeding my younger child raises enough eyebrows here.  I'm a great believer in normalising breastfeeding, but I'm going to take it one step at a time thank you very much.  When did I become uncomfortable feeding my eldest out and about?  I think she was between 18 months and two years old.  Sad but true.  I didn't want to stop breastfeeding, but I did need to (subtly) put some limits on when and where.  Considering that breastfeeding rates here are amongst the very worst in Europe I don't feel I did too badly.

Breastfeeding a three year old in a supermarket is an extreme senario I grant you, but some mums even find themselves struggling with the idea of saying 'no' in their own living room.  They might have guests who they'd rather not feed in front of or maybe they're just feeling 'touched out'.  Should these mothers feel bad for not wanting to breastfeed every time they're asked to?  At what point does breast feeding cease to be 'life sustaining' and become 'life enriching'?  

When do we STOP 'demand' feeding?

After our supermarket experience I talked to my daughter and told her that she can feed at home if she wants to, but she's not to ask when we're out and about because I'll just say no (remember I'm also feeding her sister now).  Do I feel bad about saying this?  Well - shoot me now - no!  I believe that no relationship is static.  Every relationship evolves, breastfeeding ones too - and I believe they should.

I willingly feed my 5.5 month old wherever and whenever she needs me to.  Her wants are her needs.  Is the same true of my older daughter though?  I do not believe so - though others may disagree.

The early months and years of breastfeeding are all about the needs of the child - they have to be.  The young child has not got the capacity to understand 'in a minute' - they need to nurse NOW!  Their need for security and closeness is paramount and it's vital for their mental well-being.  However, an older child is hopefully better equipped to be flexible about timings.  With luck all those secure foundations you have helped them to lay down in babyhood stand them in good stead here. 

Healthy human relationships are built around love, empathy and mutual respect - and this is where I think breastfeeding can play an important role in teaching older children about relationships.  By putting some boundaries on my daughter's breastfeeding I am (hopefully!) helping her to understand that healthy attachment doesn't mean 'ownership', but rather 'relationship'.  If I say 'no' to her, it doesn't mean our breastfeeding relationship is over - but I am guiding her towards respecting and interpreting my emotions and adjusting her behaviour a little.  I suppose you might say I'm also teaching her that older children should not be nursed in public - and (reluctantly) I tend to agree with you.  However, I find I have to teach her many things about the world I would rather not.


'Not now' is not the same thing as 'not ever'.  My arms and my heart are always open, but sometimes I prefer to keep my shirt closed.  I believe it's good that my daughter learns to choose her moment with regard to the situation and someone else's feelings.  It's a pretty useful life-skill to learn in my opinion.  

'Children who are empathic tend to do better in school, in social situations, and in their adult careers. Children and teenagers who have the greatest amount of skill at empathy are viewed as leaders by their peers. The best teachers of that skill are the children's parents.' ~ Dr L.Kutner

Healthy relationships take into consideration the needs of two people, not just one.  Of course in this senario one of those people is considerably older and better equipped to cope with change than the other, but as far as I'm concerned this simply means I have the opportunity to demonstrate to my daughter that:

• flexibility is possible, 
• relationships can evolve, and 
• change doesn't have to be scary or bad.

Mums who tandem feed children of different ages quite often find themselves in the position where they feel they want to cut back on feeds with their older child.  Are you going to sit in judgement?  I'm certainly not!  If it's a case of cutting back or stopping breastfeeding then I'm all for cutting back..  Sometimes the feelings of jealousy experienced when a baby comes along can send an older child scurrying back to the breast with a vengeance leaving their mother feeling quite overwhelmed.

'In most young children the mere sight of mother holding another baby in her arms is enough to elicit strong attachment behaviour. The older child insists on remaining close to his mother, or on climbing on to her lap. Often he behaves as though he were a baby.' ~ Bowlby

A mum recently asked my opinion about how to cope with an older child who was distraught at not being able to breastfeed as often as they wanted to.  Often mums relent and feed their child (reluctantly) because they're upset and I totally understand why they do.  They are loving parents who believe firmly in breastfeeding and they feel a huge amount of guilt connected to saying no.  Sometimes the older child is not that old - perhaps not yet two.  At such a young age it is very unlikely that they will be able to rationalise the same way that an older child can, and this is important to bear in mind.  However, it is still a fact that a mother who breastfeeds reluctantly has subjugated their own feelings in order to breastfeed their older child.

Mothers put their own needs second ALL. THE. TIME.  It's what we do.  However, is it always right that we never express negative emotions about nursing?  If we aren't allowed to express these emotions, then how can we ever begin to resolve them?  

If you are struggling with an issue like this then I guarantee you that your child has picked up on your struggle whether you have mentioned it or not.  Your guilt is very likely making the situation worse.  Your reluctance to breastfeed will have been noted by your careful little observer, and it may even make them more anxious and needy.  This only serves to compound the problem.  So if you really feel you have to put boundaries on your relationship, then I think it's important to do so with confidence and not with guilt, because that will inspire confidence in your child.

'Sometimes, parents need to act brave even if they don’t feel brave. An important and helpful message for an anxious child to receive from a parent is that the parent has confidence both in the child and in the situation.'  ~ K. Eugster MA.

If you're struggling to find reasons to continue breastfeeding and are in need of a 'pep talk' - perhaps some of the information here will be helpful.  If you're in a situation where you're feeding your two year old (example) 6 times a day and you'd rather cut it down a bit, then there are some things you can do.  The most common method seems to be 'don't offer, don't refuse'.  However, this doesn't work for everyone.  Here are some other ideas.

• Talk to them. This is a relationship after all!  They may or may not be able to engage in a detailed conversation on the subject, but you may be surprised at how empathetic your little person can be. 
• Explain that your breasts are part of your body, and that although you are happy to be able to share them with your family, sometimes you would like to have them just for you.
• Think ahead - distraction is a very powerful tool.  If nursing is their way of getting your undivided attention then find another vehicle for that (eg. read them a book, ask them if they had any dreams last night etc)
• Rather than saying a straight 'no' try saying 'not now - let's do x/y/ z first (name appealing activity) and we can nurse later'.
• Be alert to the possibility of growth spurts in older children.  Remember that they sometimes need to nurse more because of developmental or emotional challenges, so choose your moment.  If (for example) your child has just started daycare outside the home, it's probably not the best time to decide to drop their evening feed...
• Decide which feed is likely to be the easiest to drop and then ditch that first.  You might find it's easiest to change your routine or be in a distracting environment around that time for a while.
• Be clear.  If you have decided you don't want to do that feed, then changing your mind if they get upset won't help at all.  In fact I would argue it will confuse them more in the long run.  Try to stay calm, getting upset yourself will make it worse :(  It might be helpful to enlist some help from your other half or a trusted friend at this point to dilute the situation.
• If they get upset, try to remember the big picture.  If you're genuinely struggling to continue breastfeeding then you pretty much owe it to your child to cut back.  You don't want to risk flipping out altogether as that will be even harder for your child.
• Take time to properly 'connect' with your child outside of breastfeeding.  Look them in the eye - really listen to what they're saying.  Spend extra time with them.  It's important.

But what if you succeed in cutting back feeds and then find you're still having problems coping with feeding your older child?  What if you find you want to (whisper) *end breastfeeding*?

When a mother initiates the end of breastfeeding it's known as 'mother-led' weaning.  Most mother-led weaning in our culture seems to take place in the early days or weeks after birth.  At this point the baby isn't in much of a position to put up serious resistance to being weaned, even though the process will probably cause them distress.  If you choose to wean an older child you may encounter considerably more difficulty.  It occurs to me that our culture is now so bad at breastfeeding that we have not only forgotten how to do it - but we've also lost the wisdom about how to wean older children gently.  

The La Leche League information on weaning toddlers is here.  It includes a number of suggestions about ways to make the process gentler on both of you.  Having never weaned a child off the breast I can't talk from personal experience of this, but I can give you the example of our experience weaning my eldest girl off her (*gasp*) dummy.  (Before you judge me, please know that I HATED that dummy, and there were reasons - we all make mistakes bla bla bla)

Here's how we did it: 

• We talked about it.  I told her that it was starting to made me feel uncomfortable.  She told me that she liked it.
• I mentioned to her that Santa collected dummies at Christmas and was happy to provide gifts in return. (to those who disapprove of Santa , can we talk about this later?)
• I discussed the possibility of posting the dummy to Santa in advance of Christmas whereupon he had agreed to post her an early present.
• We discussed the present she might get in detail - she chose it.
• I left it at that for a couple of months until she decided she wanted the present more than the dummy.
• I made sure she knew that her decision to stop was final.
• I let her put her dummies into an envelope and we really did post them to 'Santa'.
• He really did send her a present.

Even though this is weaning off a dummy and not a breast, my point is that we went through a PROCESS and she was actively involved.  She had power.  Yes, I planted the seed, but the decision to end her dummy use was ultimately hers.  There was a 'ceremony' (the posting of the dummies) and she got something out of it - a present that she really wanted.  Using the same senario, if you wanted to end breastfeeding you might:

• Talk about it with your child.  Discuss your feelings with them and let them share theirs with you.  Discuss a date (if appropriate) and a possible weaning gift.
• Provide heaps of reassurance.  Don't say 'you must', say 'I'd like it if...'.
• Leave it for a bit - let your child digest the information without additional pressure from you.
• Discuss the (theoretical) gift from time to time - perhaps it could be a trip somewhere exciting or a really special toy.  Remember this is a big deal for both of you so it deserves to be something significant.
• In the meantime, you might try cutting back on breastfeeds by using distraction/ changing your daily routine.
• Offer additional snacks and drinks to help preempt hunger or thirst. 
• When the time is right, mark the event with something tangible - give them their promised gift...  Allow your child to say goodbye.
• Tell them how proud you are that they were able to make sure an important transition so well, if appropriate you might even thank them for helping you resolve the issue.  
• Remember to be attentive and 'present' for them throughout the process (pointless thing to say probably, of course you will!).

Some people choose to mark weaning from the breast with some sort of ceremony.  This might be nice regardless of how weaning comes about (mother-led or child-led).  An example of a Jewish ceremony is here.  Obviously you can choose your own words and form to suit your own beliefs.  Remember, ending breastfeeding is not 'risk free'.  Many of the protective qualities of breastfeeding for both you and your child are 'dose specific', so the longer you breastfeed the lower the risks are (more on this is here).  Bear this in mind when you make your decisions.  

I know there will be elements of this post which some people are likely to take issue with.  I'm not claiming to have all the answers, but I hope that some of my suggestions will be food for thought.  

EMERGENCY WEANING:  If you find yourself in a situation where you absolutely have to stop feeding quickly, you should seek professional lactation support ASAP.  This can help you to establish whether total weaning is actually necessary (there may be a way around it), and they can help you to avoid some of the pitfalls (risks) of sudden weaning for you and your child.  Contact your local LLL leader, a breastfeeding counsellor (numbers are on the sidebar of this blog), or a lactation consultant for support.  Some resources to help you deal with this are here, here, and here. 


You might be wondering why I wanted to write about this at all.  Why wouldn't I?  Every mother is different.  In the rest of the animal kingdom it's the same.  Some mother cats will start to leave their kittens at 3-5 weeks, but some will happily nurse for 10 weeks or until their kittens turn their backs on nursing.  So when a mum is struggling with negative feelings about nursing an older child, let's not all jump down her throat, eh?  If she has really made up her mind that she wants to end breastfeeding, then we should respectfully do all we can to offer support that helps her to do it as kindly and as gently as she can.  Sometimes just knowing you have options makes it easier to cope.

Suggested reading:  
Breastfeeding Older Children (Ann Sinnott)
The Nursing Mother's Guide to Weaning (Kathleen Huggins and Linda Ziedrich)

An Edible Pact

By Gráinne Kerr



Breastfeeding is normal, nature designed babies to eat,
Curled up at our breasts, listening to our hearts beat.
And the magic in this loving and wondrous act,
Is a bond so incredible, an edible pact.


We’ve captured its beauty in all manner of ways, 
We’ve posed for oil paintings, for sculptures, for days,
From cave drawings to pyramids, babes from all times and places,
Are shown just where they should be with boobs in their faces!


Today breastfeeding is celebrated by those who can and who choose,
To feed their own babies, (how did that make the news?)
We take precious photos, upload to blogs or to twitter,
But if we share them on Facebook, we’re left feeling bitter.


Facebook have shunned them. Their beauty forbidden,
Their twisted policy states that our nipples be hidden . 
“Breastfeeding’s permitted” it concedes but what’s written
Leaves mothers nursing their wounds without having been bitten.


Breastfeeding is normal, its just what we do.
So keep sharing your pictures and I’ll take some too.
Until boobs feeding babies is so common a sight,
That no-one will notice and all will be right.

TMZ talks breastfeeding & Facebook with Alanis Morissette

Scroll through to the 5 minute point for a topical discussion (of sorts!) and a major shout-out for the Blacktating blog.

Facebook Protest #fbbf #Dublin

Well, I did it.  Got us all there and back in pretty much one piece.  

Emergency boob-stops = 4 

Dirty nappies changed on the front seat = 4

Emotional breakdowns (mine) = 1.5

Illegal U-turns after wrong turns >6

I'm sure there's more but I've blanked it out...  Here's what I can remember:

When we arrived, two HR reps (both women) from Facebook met us and invited us in out of the drizzle and into the lobby.  They even offered us coffee! 

Fiona from the fabulous Friends of Breastfeeding had brought along examples of some of the deleted images to show to representatives of Facebook.  The ladies from the HR department confirmed that Facebook supports breastfeeding and seemed genuinely surprised when they saw some of the images that have been deleted.  They told us that Facebook only deletes photos when they show lots of skin - however Fiona's pictures told a different story.  The HR ladies also confirmed to me verbally that all flagged photos are reviewed by a real human being before being deleted.  Definitely a training need then..

You can view some of the pictures Facebook has deleted over the years on this website.

Facebook's representatives also kept a good eye out for the press, and they informed them that they had to wait outside and weren't allowed to film in the lobby.  We soon realised that Facebook was probably trying to make it look (from outside the building) like very few people had turned up.  If we stayed inside (in the warm!) then clearly fewer of the mums would be able to talk to the press, there would be no usable photos and the net result would much less press coverage of the protest.  Sneaky!

So of course we had to go outside again - fortunately it had stopped drizzling by then.

DBM group member the lovely Grainne (a real baby whisperer for her 'That's Not My Monkey' efforts with dd2 on the M1) was brave enough to be interviewed by RTE.  Go girl!

Many other mums were interviewed or photographed by members of the press, and Chris from Friends of Breastfeeding gave a really excellent speech.  Well done to everybody who made an effort to speak out publicly to raise awareness of this long standing problem.  I'm sure many of them felt the same as me - like a fish out of water.

I was lucky to meet MANY amazing women - and not a few amazing men - too many to list here.  Amongst them was Niamh from The Mama's Hip Blog (pictured above) who has written her account of the day here.  

I honestly think EVERYONE who attended today deserves a 'big-up' for making the effort to come along.  People had travelled from all over the island (from as far away as Derry and Waterford) to attend. 

So many people are 'armchair activists', and I guess I don't really get it.  Essentially they agree with something, but they'll tell you they just don't 'do' protests.  It's not their *thing*.

Well I'll tell you - it's not my *thing* either.  I do NOT get a kick out of an 190 mile round trip alone with two small children (who does?).  I find the thought of being labelled a 'lactivist' a real turn off.  It's certainly not something I aspire to be!  I just want mums to be supported to breastfeed if they want to.  I certainly don't want anyone (in this case Facebook) making it harder for them by making out they're doing something weird.  So even though it's not my *thing* I accept that protesting is sometimes necessary.  

As nice as it was to meet so many lovely people, I hope I don't have to do anything like this again.  Ever!  I just don't want it to be an issue.  

On the upside, there was cake! 

Well done to all the people all over the world who turned up to the protests today, thank you to everyone who changed their profile pictures in support, and to those who wanted to come but couldn't make it - it's your turn next time ;)

Below, the real face of 'lactivism'.

EDITED TO ADD:  In the time it's taken for me to write and review this post I've seen on Twitter that @babycalmclasses has been banned from Facebook for three days for (seemingly) posting a cartoon showing a newborn having skin to skin with a topless mum.  I SO hope this isn't true. :(

Here are links to some of the press coverage of today's protest.  If you have blogged about this or know of an article I've missed, please let me know so I can add it to the list:

http://www.rte.ie/news/player.html

http://www.tv3.ie/3player/show/2/45108/0/News-Updates (scroll to 8 mins) 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cWM-o6JH3cc

http://www.q102.ie/news/news-item.aspx?ID=0c043817-1551-407c-b23f-8291051b1897&audio=true

http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/b01bqwr4/Talkback_07_02_2012/ (approx 39mins in)

http://www.irishtimes.com/newspaper/breaking/2012/0206/breaking49.html

http://www.siliconrepublic.com/digital-life/item/25646-facebook-breastfeeding/

http://www.rte.ie/news/2012/0206/facebook.html

http://www.thejournal.ie/breastfeeding-protest-held-outside-facebook-hq-347988-Feb2012/

http://www.themarysue.com/facebook-women-and-breastfeeding/

http://pachamammy.blogspot.com/2012/02/protest-at-facebook.html

http://andmybaby.ie/2012/02/07/not-just-about-the-pictures/

Apprehensive

Tomorrow I'm taking my two little girls with me to Dublin to attend the protest outside Facebook's offices at Hanover Quay.

I'm a bit stressed about it all to be honest.  'Nurse-Ins' aren't my thing.  I've never attended a protest.  I can be quite shy with people I don't know, especially in large groups.  Probably you won't believe me but this is all true.  I'm a (relatively) normal mum, and I don't enjoy drawing attention to myself or my children.  I 'brazen it out' when I have to, but I don't enjoy it one little bit.  I'm dreading the 90 minute drive each way, and finding my way around Dublin.  I am worried in case dd2 cries on the way or dd1 needs the loo and there's nowhere for me to stop.  The petrol and toll roads will cost £££ and we're not exactly 'flush' these days, and I won't know anyone when I get there.

You're probably wondering why I'm going at all.

I'm going because I think social media will play an increasingly large role in all our lives over the years to come, and especially in my daughter's lives.  I think Facebook is valuable in so many ways - most especially as a vehicle for sharing information and support.  This is the way the world is moving, social media is going to be increasingly powerful in influencing the way we think, and more importantly, the way our children WILL think.  If breastfeeding is to survive into the digital age, we have to get this sorted out.  

That's why we have to stop the way Facebook is harassing breastfeeding mums when they post their photos or even write about breastfeeding.  Heck - they deleted the Leaky Boob group, and threatened to delete DBM twice.  I can't be having that now can I? ;)

Facebook was dreamt up by a very creative young man, and it's run by incredibly creative, forward-thinking young people.  Facebook's office in Dublin is it's Head Office in Europe employing 400 people, with plans for expansion.  Those young people have grown up in a world where formula feeding is normal, and where breasts are used to sell things and to titillate rather than to feed babies.  It's understandable that some of them will find breastfeeding shocking - obscene even - because they probably don't see it in their daily lives.  It's also likely that some of the employees at Facebook find pictures of breasts being used provocatively less obscene, simply because they've seen them more often growing up.  I don't want my children growing up in a world where the largest social network deems this image acceptable, but deletes these ones.  It's important to see breastfeeding in order for it to become normalised once again within our culture, and that includes pictures on a social network.

I have it on good authority that the human beings who review 'obscene' photographs for Facebook are located at the Dublin offices.  These employees are directly responsible for deleting so many breastfeeding images and banning the posters.  'The Dublin office is responsible for all of the company’s users outside of the U.S. and Canada, according to the Irish data-protection agency'.

Ireland has one of the lowest breastfeeding initiation rates in Europe - the economy here increasingly relies on the formula industry to generate income during these tough economic times.  Our small country will soon produce 20% of the world's infant formula milk, and that is set to increase with the Government courting the formula industry for all it's worth.  People here consume vast amounts of dairy products and most people think cow's milk is essential for good health..  Our culture is incredibly anti-breastfeeding.  That is reflected in the way Facebook's Irish employees are implementing their 'obscenity' policy.  And let's not forget that Facebook make a lot of money advertising formula milk.

The reason I'm going to Dublin is because we, in Ireland, are at the centre of this problem.  Facebook's Irish employees are playing a key role targeting and shaming breastfeeding mums from within Facebook's on-line community.  In terms of population, Facebook represents the third largest country in the world with 800 million users and rising.  We cannot allow the Irish breastfeeding 'issue' to become a global one - we are NOT in a position to lecture anyone about how to feed babies.  If a picture of a baby being bottle fed is acceptable and not deemed obscene by Facebook then we have to demand that photographs of babies being fed at the breast are also permitted.  If Facebook truly is the global network it purports to be, then it must stand for global and human norms, rather than (our) hypocritical and prudish Irish ones.  And that means I feel I have to make the trip.

Wish me luck!

If you can't make it to one of the many rallies (find out where they're taking place here) - then please consider joining the on-line protest by changing your profile picture to one supporting the protest.  The image below is free for you to use.