Boobiemilk Competition Winners!

Congratulations to calisnenath who has won herself a Hotmilk Blaze and also to Claire Clark from Kent who wins a Carriwell plus an at-home fitting from Karen!

Huge thanks to Boobiemilk for such lovely prizes!

www.boobiemilk.co.uk

Please can the winners email me at bcboobies@hotmail.co.uk stating (again) which bra you are after, and I will forward your details to Karen!

Thanks to everyone who entered.

x anne

DBM breastfeeding photo poll

I'm wrestling with something and I need your help.

When I logged into the group this morning I had to complete a security check (including giving Facebook my mobile number in order to enter a security code).  I then had to review their 'community standards'.

It turns out that Facebook deleted a photograph I shared with the group yesterday.  There was a (female) nipple visible in the breastfeeding picture (see below), and Facebook determined that it didn't meet their community standards.  In the event that something like this happens again it's possible our group might be disabled temporarily.  I honestly don't know what Facebook will do - I'm not sure they know either.

Although I personally feel that this is a matter of principle and we should not have to hide our breastfeeding photos (my thoughts on why are here), I also know that this group is important as a support network to many people, and therefore I feel I need to ask how YOU feel about this.  I want to make it clear to you all that the photo which was deleted had not been shared using the DBM log-in anywhere else on Facebook, or indeed elsewhere on-line.  Others may have shared it on, but I don't go around posting pictures anywhere that might invite trouble (not that it matters).   The picture was only shared within the group and Facebook users would have to have come to our group to view it and report it.  

Please also know that although the majority of photos which get deleted seem to have been 'flagged' by an individual, this doesn't mean that ALL pictures are flagged via the same process.  Facebook have admitted to using skin-detection software  - that's why in their Help Centre section on breastfeeding photos they say the pictures which are removed are 'almost exclusively' flagged by users, rather than 'exclusively flagged'.

Should we continue to allow breastfeeding images on DBM or should we toe the Facebook line?  If we allow a site with nearly a billion users to censor breastfeeding images what message is that giving out?  Do you feel that seeing nipple in a breastfeeding photo is TMI?  Do you feel it's ok that a male nipple is allowable but a female one should remain covered?  Do you trust FB to use good judgement when it comes to deleting photos/ banning individuals?  Do you think these are the same standards which apply in other areas of the mainstream press and television (more on that is here)?

Please be assured that if anything did happen to our group, I would set up another support page as soon as possible and the information about how to find it would be posted here on this blog and on Twitter @bfdboobies

I would very much appreciate your input - please click on the link below to feed back.

Poll <<< click here
2.39pm GMT - Please note - as a result of posting the screenshot showing that fb had deleted the original photo, I am now blocked from posting content for 24 hours.   This means I cannot repost your questions or moderate the wall.  I will ask the other mods to do what they can until the ban is lifted. x

Facebook deleted one of our members :(

This morning I was informed that a member of our group has had her account deleted by Facebook for posting a picture I shared on our group wall yesterday.  Apparently she shared it on the wall of another Facebook group, and the assumption is that it got reported.

This is the image: 

I have seen very many comments to the effect that Facebook 'must have' deleted this picture because there was a nipple exposed and visible, even though the baby is nursing in the photo.

Facebook's 'rules' on breastfeeding images state the following: 

'Photos that show a fully exposed breast where the child is not actively engaged in nursing do violate Facebook's Statement of Rights and Responsibilities. '

But how do we interpret this statement?  There is a child actively engaged in nursing in the photo.  What about a picture - such as this - where a child is actively nursing and there is still an exposed breast (the other one)?  You think I'm being pedantic?  I don't.  In fact, I think the very fact that this statement exists at all shows how 'above the law' Facebook think they are.  You don't need a rule about breastfeeding images - breastfeeding is not dirty, it's not sexual, and it's not against the law.  The statement is clearly open to some interpretation...

What if there's a child feeding at BOTH BREASTS?  Tandem photos should be fine according to Facebook's 'rule'.  Babies actively breastfeeding, no nipples.  All ok.

Have a look here.  Both children actively engaged in breastfeeding.  But Facebook deleted it.  Then they deleted the user who posted it.  Scroll through the site linked above and you will see countless other examples of the same thing happening.

A lot of posts I've read seem to suggest that Facebook would NEVER delete a photo which didn't contravene their own (made up) rules.  Of course they would!  They do it EVERY DAY.

Their statement about their stance on breastfeeding photos is just a smoke screen.  It's a deliberately grey area.  Why so grey?  Well, let's get real.

Facebook may well be complicit in direct discrimination.  Although the law hasn't been fully tested in this area yet, it is illegal for a service provider to discriminate against breastfeeding women* in a public place.  Facebook provides it's users with a number of services, and just because their business (marketplace/ advertising/ direct marketing etc) is conducted on the internet doesn't mean that legislation ceases to apply.  Facebook know that their under-trained (outsourced) staff are deleting breastfeeding pictures daily.  Given the lack of clarity and leadership their staff seem to be operating under, it's hardly a surprise that they delete photos willy-nilly.
*http://www.maternityaction.org.uk/sitebuildercontent/sitebuilderfiles/breastfeedingpublicplace.pdf

What POSSIBLE reason could there be for Facebook's staff deleting this picture other than poor judgement?

You might be thinking to yourself 'surely if it's as easy as direct discrimination then Facebook can just be sued'.  

Who has that sort of money?  Not me.  I doubt any of you have it either - so who is going to pay to take Facebook to court for discrimination?  If you're up for starting a fund and finding a lawyer, then I am!  Perhaps the Equality Commission would be a good place for us to start.

One excuse Facebook gave recently for this ongoing policy of deleting images showing breastfeeding/ female exposed breasts is that they are following industry standards.

'These policies are based on the same standards that apply to television and print media.' they say.

Perhaps someone needs to tell this to Benetton (email press@benetton.it) - it's their AWARD-WINNING advertisement that Facebook deleted.  The image is from 1989.  That's over TWENTY YEARS AGO.  They are far from the only mainstream advertisers using breastfeeding imagery to sell products. 

In the world of print, this image (taken by Annie Leibovitz) of Jerry Hall breastfeeding appeared on the cover of Vanity Fair and The Australian Magazine. 

Other celebrities have breastfed on the covers mainstream publications, including Kelly Preston, and Angelina Jolie and countless more have been featured inside the magazines and newspapers themselves.  Let's not forget the beautiful front cover image from Italian Vogue which Facebook deemed unsuitable too.  

Mainstream television in the UK and the US has being showing fully exposed female breasts for years for a variety of reasons.

Same standards my big toe.

Facebook haven't got a leg to stand on.  As we say in my part of the world - they're all over the place.  They may say they're following mainstream standards, but they're just NOT.

Bottom line - we shouldn't be tolerating Facebook's behaviour on this - they aren't a law unto themselves.  Why should it be ok for Facebook to say fully exposed male breasts/ chests are allowed, but female ones must get deleted?   If Facebook was a restaurant which openly and repeatedly discriminated against breastfeeding mothers, we'd never go back.  Our right to breastfeed IN PUBLIC (nipple or not!) is protected by law.

We need to challenge this status quo.  Breasts are first and foremost for feeding infants - that is why we grow them.

I was serious about starting that fund.

Tru-Breast

Grateful thanks to Anna who posted this on the wall of the old DBM facebook page.

I know that it's done the rounds many times before (also here), but I've never seen the original picture so I thought I'd share it here for posterity - you'll probably need your 'zoom' handy to view it properly.


I love the tag-line - it kind of sums up breastfeeding for me: 

'in hope that it will help make this

a better world to live in'

Why I love baby-led solids.

We've begun the process of introducing solids to our second daughter.  This is my first experience of weaning a 'normal' feeder.  My first daughter had health issues and things were much more complex, so I'm loving seeing dd2 really enjoy her first tastes of solid foods.

She's just over 6 months old now, and we started giving her food to play with a couple of weeks ago.  I can honestly say that until last week none of it had made it down her throat!  However, she's clearly got the hang of it now, and is starting to eat a range of foods.  Of course we didn't start offering her anything until she was showing all the signs of readiness:

1/ Able to stay upright in a sitting position and hold her head steady.

2/ Able to co-ordinate well enough to grab and hold food and bring it to her mouth all on her own.

3/ Able to swallow food - has lost the tongue-thrust reflex.  If a baby is offered solid foods before they're ready (usually by an over-eager mother with a spoon) they will push some of it back out of their mouths instinctively and end up with distinctive circle of food (usually orange in colour) around their mouths.

Alternatively you could just wait until your child grabs some garlic bread off your plate and stuffs it in their mouth like my sister did... ;)

So here's why I love baby-led solids.

• If they're not ready, they won't eat.  Simple.  You won't get the timing wrong if you let your baby feed itself.  
• They are in control of what they take in.  This just makes sense to me, and breastfed babies do it anyway since they control what they take from the breast.  Research published recently supports this as the healthiest way to introduce solid foods. 
• It's fun!  The get to squish, press, drop, sniff, investigate, experiment and of course wear what they're eating.  So much more interesting than 'here comes the aeroplane' don't you think?
• It's far less hassle for me - part 1.  I don't have to cook/ mush/ or buy anything special.  How does anyone find the time?  We just give her little bits of whatever we're eating.
• My daughter gets to sit with her family and eat at mealtimes.  I don't know how common it is, but I regularly see mums spoon-feeding their babies separately.  I prefer my family to eat together as much as possible.
• It's less hassle for me - part 2.  I 'give her access' to a bit of whatever I've got on my plate, and I don't always make it easy ;)  I get to eat my own dinner and I let her get on with it.  Or not.

If you think your baby is coming close to readiness, try sitting them up in a high chair at the table with you and give them a toy to chomp on for a while.  Perhaps set it on the table and let them pick it up on their own.  This way they can practise the co-ordination necessary to start feeding themselves.  

For lots more information about baby-led solids, look here, here, here, here, and there's a facebook group here.

Not all babies are ready for solids at the same age.  The best thing you can do is watch your child.  If they don't seem interested at 6 months, don't stress!  They'll get there at their own speed, and breast milk or formula should be their main source of nutrients until at least age 1 anyway.  Remember always to offer milk before any solid foods and you won't go far wrong.

Boobie milk giveaway

www.boobiemilk.co.uk

BoobieMilk Ltd is a new company in West Kent run by Karen, Mummy to two breastfed kiddies.  Karen and her family have recently moved back to the UK after spending almost 10 years in the States and Karen decided to start her own business selling nursing bras, sleep bras, nursing vests, sports bras and breastfeeding products online and offering in-home fittings and sales in the local area.  BoobieMilk are offering two lucky DBM readers the opportunity to own a comfy (or possibly even sexy!) new nursing bra.

The competition will be running until St Patrick's Day (17th March!) and is open to anyone currently in need of a nursing bra (pregnant or nursing) who lives in the UK.  

• The winner will receive a free nursing bra of their choice in the post.
• Another lucky winner from the South East of England will win an in-home nursing bra fitting and free nursing bra (areas covered: Sevenoaks/ Tonbridge) 

2.      

To enter for the opportunity to win a new nursing bra please tell us which bra you would like from www.boobiemilk.co.uk  and why you would like a new nursing bra in the comments section below.  When you write your comment, please also state if you would like to be entered into the draw to win a personal in-home fitting and (importantly!) where you live.  

To enter - please visit the Boobiemilk website to find the answer to the following question:

• What three colours do the Carriwell Drop Cup Nursing bras come in?

In return for hosting this competition, Boobiemilk ask that you agree to write a brief review on the bra and the service you received should you win.

Good luck! :)


x anne